Selfish
by OMFG I HATE THIS ACCOUNT
Summary: Just for once couldn't he be selfish' Rikku's bittersweet reflections over the man who guards her after Yuna fails and she and Auron are the only guardians left. Why did he guard her? His duties are over. Oneshot, Aurikku. Warning: Bittersweet.


Authors note: A short story one-shot. Dunno what came over me, but I wrote this when I was at my best friend's house, listening to "(What's so funny 'bout) Peace, Love and Understanding" by A Perfect Circle. I strongly suggest you get this song. The reason I wrote it in this account for this pairing is because the string orchestra reminded me of Gagazet. When I heard the song for the first time, I looked at my television to see if my Playstation had suddenly turned on and loaded one of my saved games. It hadn't, of course.

Rikku's point of view in a Sin-torn Spira.

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_**Selfish**_

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If it weren't for Rahahra, we wouldn't know the things we do. We wouldn't know that Maester Mika had found a way to bring Sin back early, we would have been killed on sight, because of who we are… an unsent- a man trying to finish his purpose and an Al Bhed- a female, barely a woman, who simply guarded her cousin.

Rahahra, Kimahri's mate, mother of six cubs, takes blessed care of me during the winter. The cubs are old enough to grow a coat during the blizzard, but I'm still 16, still Al Bhed and still rushing around in less clothes than a streetwalker.

Auron taught me endurance. I'd whined for hours that '_I just can't stand the cold!_' and '_Take me back to __Bikanel__! I want my sunshine, beaches and sand!_' At these times, he didn't call me a silly girl, he didn't threaten to leave me behind. He didn't even raise an eyebrow.

Perhaps he knew. He lost Braska and Jecht in one hit. He then led Yunie through this deity-forsaken continent to her death.

He didn't abandon me, though. One time, when I woke him up with tears freezing to my face, I told him that Yunie would've been 18 that day. A big grown up! He heldme close. Didn't say anything, but to be honest, he's a man of actions, it makes his words more valuable to me.

"Rikku, we can make a temporary home in this cave until Rahahri returns and moves us elsewhere during the blizzard." I think I nearly returned to the days when everything was sunshine and lollipops. I haven't tasted sugar in almost half a year. I give my share of cocoa to Auron. He deserves it.

After eleven years of resisting the farplane, he remains here to protect me. The princess Al Bhed.

The loner. The survivor.

Rahahri made us comfortable and brought supplies from fiends (there are more of them nowadays.) I had plenty of lightning gems, but oh Ancestors… What I wouldn't give for the occasional fire gem.

An odd thing happened this evening. I had acquired a coat, and I could sit by myself. Auron was directly across from me, the fire separating us, lighting our cave. Our home. Pulling the Ronso fur and Chocobo feather monstrosity coat over my shoulders, I actually conversed with the man.

"We sought peace and understanding for Spira. If only for a while." I said glumly. He was used to me randomly putting phrases like that out there.

I never used to be well-spoken. But Auron fixed that, I think he's taught me a lot while we've been her on Gagazet, stuck in our timeless exile.

"Rikku, when I was nine years older than you, I was beginning my pilgrimage with Braska. I apologize for being harsh on you at first. I thought of you as merely a child." He never shivered when we were sitting together. I know his secret now, but while I hate myself for keeping him here, I hate him for not being selfish. Just for once- couldn't he be selfish?

"Auron, age is meaningless here. Legally, we're both dead, you know?" I asked, remembering Rahahri's last visit. He grunted.

"Lady Yuna truly believed that peace, love and understanding would bring Sin to it's knees and destroy it." Auron heaved a sigh.

"Yunie… was naïve. I hate myself for saying that… but she was. In this world, the only way to get to the top is death, sacrifice and destruction." I could hardly believe that the words I thought were flying out of my mouth, or that Auron and I were having an intelligent conversation.

"No…" he countered, rising and sitting next to me, fuelling the fire as he went. "It's the most efficient way to destroy a planet."

He placed an arm around my shoulders and we stared at the fire. It was a strange relationship we had. It didn't involve steamy lovemaking in any of the cloister of trials, it didn't involve me nagging him senseless, but I was content.

And I froze to my icy death in the blizzard, which would came early, though no one had predicted it, with his arm around me and my head leaning into his chest, I know I died completely happy.

And in death, we could be selfish.

_Fin._

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Finishing Note: One-shot. Sorry it's a deathfic. I didn't even intend to finish the story this way, but I'm extremely happy with it, even if no one else is.

-Viva.


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